Not the happiest post ever.

I've been quiet lately, haven't I? I didn't get any mail this week, and I didn't send any. Isn't that so sad? Sigh.

Speaking of sad, lately I've been feeling really unlike myself lately. I don't want to go to work, can't eat or sleep, and have no desire to do anything fun like read or hang out with friends. I actually think that I am going crazy in some moments, because I just cannot think clearly. It is not fun, to say the least.

This is not the first time I've been like this either. I seem to go through a phase like this for a month, then I'll be okay for a month or two, and then I'll slide back into it. I thought it had to do with how I was doing in my relationship with God, but when I'm like this it's almost impossible for me to hear God. It's hard to feel joy or any connection with Him. When I feel so far away from God, I can't feel hope in any other part of my life.

I was talking with a friend the other day who has been diagnosed with depression, and her symptoms before she went on anti-depressants sounded very similar to what I'm going through right now. The next evening I went online and checked out some sites that have information on depression. I was making quite a few checks as I went down the list. It was kind of scary, but it was actually more of a relief to figure out what was wrong with me. Now I know what to do to get over this! I saw my doctor yesterday. She didn't officially diagnose me with anything, but she prescribed me an anti-depressant, and I need to go back in a few weeks. It will take a few weeks for the medicine to take effect, so in the meantime I need to do everything I can on my own.

My doctor said things that would help are: exercise (which I don't do), proper diet - lots of fruits and veggies (uh, yeah, I probably eat a quarter of the daily recommended portions), go outdoors (which is not fun when the mosquitoes are out), spend time with friends and do other things I enjoy, and think positively.

So what am I gonna do?
start exercising and eating better
play with my kitten Charley
read a novel
talk with friends
eat more nutritious food
take baths with Lush bath bombs
do things to make me laugh
remember the good times
spend lots of time contending in prayer
make plans for the future

surrender my fear and take up hope.


I tell you this just because I need to get it out there. If I try to hide it I'll only get worse. I don't want your pity, though. Don't feel sad for me. Encourage me and make me laugh. Keep my spirits up. And pray for me.

Oh Monday... (Mail 1.5)

I hate Monday mornings. Oy. And I feel like it's still morning. Just having one of those days, I guess.

Mail time!

Incoming:

This is all, my friends. And I only got it a couple of hours ago, so I was prepared to write this post having nothing to show. Thanks, Steph!

Outgoing:

Letter to Margarita in an envelope made from a magazine page.

You know the old saying, "write a letter to get a letter"? Well, the other day I went through my address book, and I wrote a postcard to people that I haven't heard from in several months. My letters seem to get lost in the mail, which of course is very sad, and sometimes people think I forget about them. So I just like to check up now and then. Is that pathetic? Maybe. But I never said I wasn't. The first one is a card I got from Chapters and for unknown reasons have been saving forever. The next picture has cards I got from a pen pal who went to Italy and sent me a box with 80 cards in it. Nice. The last one has cards I got from a Josh Groban concert almost 3 years ago (what the flip?!? It's been that long??) I used to be obsessed but trust me, I'm okay now.

Summer is here... apparently.

Rain. Rain rain rain everyday. I am tired of it already. And that is saying something because I love rainy days. I want sunshine!! It hasn't been that bad, but seriously.

This morning I woke up at 6, to be at work for 7. When I got to work, I discovered that there was no work for the summer employees today. Once again. I am so incredibly frustrated with my job already. I just want to work and make money already! Hello, broke student here! If I had known it would be like this I would have started looking for a different job. I kept saying if it hadn't picked up by now I would have got a different one. But I hate job hunting and I have one, so I'm not really motivated to find another one. So if you could keep me and my job situation in your prayers, that would be really appreciated.


I've decided to take a correspondence course this summer. My school only offers 2 English courses every semester, so it's kind of hard to get a minor in that when you only have 3 credit hours in it, and you need 18 by next year. With this correspondence course and the course I'm taking in the fall semester, I'll have 12. Pretty good, eh? I'm really excited for this course - Literature for Children!! I get to read books like Tuck Everlasting; The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; Winnie-the-Pooh; and Charlotte's Web!! I registered for it today, so in 2 -3 weeks I'll get my materials! Seriously, so excited, and it'll at least stave off some of my boredom of no schoolwork. I need to accomplish something this summer!


Random fact about me: I am a clumsy person. I often hurt myself in ways that cannot be explained. Yesterday I fell out of my car. I was getting out and I just fell on the ground. I do not even know how it happened. Way to go, me.

My friends are the bestest. (Mail 1.4)

It was my birthday last week Friday. I think that having a birthday on the weekend is the best. I basically partied for three days straight (me being the huge party animal that I am...) Okay, so maybe I didn't "party" by other people's definition, but by my standards for sure. I got to spend time with good friends and make memories. Good enough party for me.

Because I love Chapters, we went there for a bit. Well, that's not the reason why, but it works. I decided to try on some sexy reading glasses.

Tiff doesn't wear glasses, so I took a picture of her with them so see how she would look. Meika is laughing at her in the background.

Mama T trying out the sexy librarian look.

Me with my good friend Meika. She is the leader of my worship team, and I love getting to hang out with her every month for 2 days straight.

Linny-Pooh. Oh my Linny-Pooh.

Lin, Frankie, and me. A silly bunch, we are.

Tiff and Mama enjoying the delicious gelati we had!

A nice picture of me and Frankie.

The girls walking hand in hand down the street.

The next day I went with Meika and Jolene to watch Letters to Juliet. It was really good! The three of us loved it. I would go see it again at the drop of a hat.


Last Sunday my sister and brother in law came over. We had fun.

The other day my brother wanted me to take a picture of him for his yearbook, because he is graduating this year. I took this picture of him, and looked at my review screen to see if it turned out. When I looked up I saw the quad flipped on its side! My stupid brother tipped it over! Luckily he was okay - just a scraped up elbow! At least the picture turned out great, so it was worth it.

My sweet little kittens! Captain Jack Sparrow, Gary, Baloo, and of course Charley. His teeny paws and pink nose drive me nuts. I love him <3

Good ol' Manitoba sunset. I love living on the prairies.

Last week I was driving home from work and it started raining. As I got onto the last stretch of highway, it was like a line dividing the huge black rain cloud and the blue sky. So cool. It looked better than this picture.

Lovely surprise flowers I received the other day! Lilies are my absolute favorite, and who doesn't love gerber daisies?


Mail Time!

Incoming:

I participated in a mix cd swap, which was so fun! I love new music!

This lovely package came from Jessica in Australia. She included a bookmark and a fridge magnet. I love koala bears - I think they are so cute! Really, I love all animals native to Australia and surrounding countries. Kangaroos, platypi, kiwis... so cute!

Amazing cover for the cd! And good music, at least what I've listened to so far.

Birthday card from my pen pal Margarita, who lives in the Netherlands. The card is shaped like a cake! How fun! And then the spot where she wrote the address is in the doily-looking part!

 Postcrossing card from China. I love panda bears! Soo cute!

Outgoing:

Reply to my friend Steph. I wrote the letter on some stationery I printed off of this blog.

I didn't take pictures of the rest of my outgoing. It was only a couple letters and a postcrossing card, so it was okay.

And that is all for now, my friends! I am off to bed - work calls at 6 a.m....