Monday, May 24, 2010

Why does this have to be the rotten branch?

I had a sad day yesterday. I'll probably be sad for a few more weeks to come.

Last night my church had a prayer meeting since Pentecost is the International Day of Prayer. Since it was also the long weekend, it wasn't very packed, but I think that was okay.

I was with my cell group. What a wonderful group of ladies, whom I love ever so dearly.

We prayed about a lot of different things throughout the evening. The Holy Spirit was clearly present and speaking, because everything I prayed about and received proved itself a mere half hour after I left the church.

My friend got a picture for me at one point. It was a picture of a tree that was growing lots of fruit. It was healthy and alive, with lots of branches growing on it. There was a branch that just started growing out of the tree, and before it got very big I just cut it off, even though it looked fine. When I did, it turned rotten. As soon as she told me this, I knew what it meant but I didn't want to believe it. So I kept telling myself otherwise.

Another thing we prayed about was to receive gifts of the Spirit. I asked for the gift of discernment. As soon as I did, I realized that I wasn't going to be able to deny my instincts anymore.

The past few weeks my instincts (or the Holy Spirit) have been telling me something. I kept denying it. I thought it was my own fear speaking. A half hour after I left the church, I realized that it wasn't fear. It was truth.

And now I am sad. And I didn't want things to turn out this way. And I cried while I was brushing my teeth because it sucks.

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