Weighing in (ish)

So today my mother and I went to our local TOPS chapter and we joined together. It's not very big, only 7 other ladies were there besides me and my mom. I think all of them were French as well, which is humorous because obviously my mother and I are not. I was also the youngest lady there by about 30 years. They were all cooing over my name, how beautiful it was. That made me smile :D

My mom did TOPS years ago, and it helped her then, so we decided to give it a try together. The accountability is totally what I need right now. I'm very excited about this :D

Yet another useless week.

I stepped on the scale yesterday and have apparently gained 4 pounds. What the heck?

I have, however, realized what my problem is. Portion control and sugar. So those are things to watch.

I am also not hating the gym so much, and I even worked out at home because I'm on reading week now.

I need to make a playlist for the gym. Any suggestions are super helpful and much appreciated!!

On an unrelated note, right now I am listening to the most amazing cover of Hallelujah ever, by Mr Phil Wickham. Go on youtube and listen. Now. Click here.

Not a good week.

It is my first Wednesday, and off to a good start (sarcasm). I forgot to weigh myself before I left the house, but I'm afraid it will be dismal anyway, so I'd rather not. I only managed to get 2 workouts in this week, and eating... Like I said, I like eating.

However, those workouts were pretty much breakthroughs, because I went by myself even though I really didn't feel like it! On one day I went to the gym at school. There were 2 jocks already working out when I got there. Now, I hate working out when there are tons of jocks. Just saying. By the time I had been on the treadmill for a half hour, there were about 12 of them, teeming everywhere. Needless to say, I had forced myself to stay for the half hour, and then I just left. I couldn't take it anymore. I was proud that I managed to do that. I don't like jocks.

A day late for a new post.

Hi Friends. I have been meaning to do this for a while, and today is the day. I have been wanting to start a new regular post, inspired by my friend Belen. The name of the feature? Weigh-in Wednesday. (I know today is Thursday but I was not at home all day yesterday so be quiet.)

I will just give you a quick intro to why I'm doing this. Ever since I hit puberty, I have struggled with my weight. In 2007 I weighed 220 lbs. After years of wishing I could lose weight, I finally kicked myself in the butt with the help of a good friend, and by the time I started college, in 2009, I weighed 170. Unfortunately, those of you who have ever lived in dorm for any length of time and have lived on a college meal plan know that the Freshman 15 is no myth. I gained that. And then kept gaining, even though I did only live in dorm for one semester and have lived at home since then.

Today I stepped on the scale. My weight was 224. Yes, that is right. I am almost ashamed to post that. Not for the number, but for the fact that I have gained back every single pound that I lost, plus 4 more. All that hard work, and nothing to show for it.

I bought my wedding dress 2 weeks ago. It came off the rack, and it is about 2 or 3 sizes too small. It can easily be altered to fit, but I don't want to go that route. I want to lose the weight, and have the dress fit without any major alterations.

My goal is to lose 20 pounds by June 1, which is a couple weeks before my wedding. I have 3.5 months. With some hard work, I think I can do it. Which is why I'm posting about it. I need to be held accountable. I just cannot motivate myself. I think that by keeping you updated (whether you want to read it or not) I will find a sense of purpose to keep going, that every Wednesday I can come back and celebrate every milestone I hit.

This endeavor is for me. No one else is making me feel like I have to lose the weight. Chris is extremely awesome and he loves me exactly as I am. No, I am doing this for me. I have a bunch of clothes that are under my bed from my skinny days, and they are really nice and I miss wearing them. I loved it when I was able to go into any store with my friends and try on clothes and have them fit.

For anyone that has never experienced going into a store and not having a single thing fit, you have no idea how incredibly hard that is. When an XL shirt pulls across your chest, and when you can't even get the largest size of jeans in the store up your legs, never mind buttoned and zipped... Well, lets just say I've often had to fight back tears in a fitting room. So this is for me. This is for my health and my self-confidence. It's going to be hard, but I've done it before and I will do it again.

I appreciate any and all support, constructive ideas and suggestions, and prayers. Cause honestly? I like food. I hate exercising. I'd rather sit on the couch and eat half a dozen Oreos with a huge glass of milk than celery. I hate celery...